Sunday Afternoon Tryst

FROM THE ARCHIVES: 

What starts as a chaotic “how we met” story turns into something deeper.

In this episode, Athena sits down with Brian and Sasha to unpack a relationship that didn’t follow the rules, starting with sarcasm, hookups, and zero intention of commitment… and somehow turning into a marriage built on trust, friendship, and actually liking each other.

They get into:

the difference between lust and something real
building a relationship backwards (and why it worked)
what it looks like to feel safe with someone
navigating independence, codependency, and growth
and the moments that test a relationship, physically, mentally, and emotionally

From unexpected beginnings to real-life challenges, this conversation is less about perfect love, and more about choosing each other through the messy parts.

Because sometimes the strongest relationships aren’t the ones that look perfect…
they’re the ones that survived everything that should’ve broken them.

Transcript

SPEAKER_08 0:00

I did.

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Is that what the definition is?

SPEAKER_08 0:01

Tristy.

SPEAKER_01 0:02

I've never heard this word before. I thought it was like literally a made-up word. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 0:05

I didn't know what the first time he said it either, like when we met there, and then later he had told me about that. I was like, wait, what? What my mind is blown.

SPEAKER_07 0:13

Um, fact check.

SPEAKER_01 0:38

My name is Athena Manuma, and this is Jaded Dame Podcast. I am here with the one and only Brian Davis and his gorgeous wife, Sasha. And I asked them to be my first interview uh episode today because we're just jumping into it, and I told them that the premise of Jade Dame was because I wanted to talk about lessons or deep dive into the layers of life, and day day is what I call them. We have had numerous talks about the universe, so I invited them because I feel the most comfortable with talking with both of them about the universe. So we were gonna start off with your relationship, but do you want to talk about anything else or are you good with that?

SPEAKER_08 1:25

I'm totally good talking about our our relationship, Sash and I uh we have a deep relationship, and I think from what we've been through and how we started it it blossomed, and it definitely, you know, it gave us some of those life lessons, and and the universe pointed us in direction, so it definitely is a story worth telling.

SPEAKER_01 1:45

Yeah, I agree. How did you guys meet?

SPEAKER_03 1:49

We had a mutual friend. Um, I had just gone through a pretty gnarly breakup and was actually trying to have some one-night stands for the first time. And my friend Sheena at the time was like, Oh my god, I have this perfect person. They're like my plan E for everything, and anytime I need someone, like I headed up dating. And so I was like, Okay. But we had actually met once before that because of her again, but I was really sick and we met at a Buffalo Wild Wings.

SPEAKER_01 2:21

We met at a Buffalo Wild Wings, it always happens at Buffalo Wild Wings.

SPEAKER_03 2:26

Yeah, we met the first time there because she wanted to go watch the college football game. It was the Oregon Ducks versus Ohio State. I used to be a big Ohio State fan because of an ex. And so I was very, very sick and miserable and just kept talking shit to him, telling him how horrible his team was and that he sucked. And yeah, that was the first time we met. So it was pretty funny to go from that to hey, Dayday's phone number, you guys should hook up.

SPEAKER_08 2:52

Yeah, it was it was really weird. Our our mutual friend, my friend Joe Bear, and her friend Sheena, it was it was an interesting just vibe between the four of us, and then she was a dick the entire time. She was so mean, but I mean, as any of you know, I'm very much a dick myself. So uh we battled back and forth, and and and not once did I even think like I'm na I'm never gonna hear from this girl again. Like my mind was made up, like I'm never gonna hear from her, and it wasn't but maybe a week or even less than that. I feel like we went over and smoked at somebody's house, or was that the same night?

SPEAKER_03 3:32

That was the same night. So after after Buffalo Wild Wings, I think we went over to Mickey's house. I think it was.

SPEAKER_08 3:39

Yeah, and we smoked.

SPEAKER_03 3:40

Yeah, Sheena's best friend Mickey, where m where Sheena was living at the time. We went back over there and smoked a bunch of weed. And that was like when we weren't mean to each other.

SPEAKER_08 3:49

Yeah, we weren't mean to each other, and it was it was chill because everyone else, you know, I I don't think I knew Mickey, so I kind of toned down my you know my sarcastic self and you know, kind of kind of put a backseat and you know, just kind of read the room and I think we were decent to each other then, and then God the next thing I remember is A couple weeks later. Yeah, Mortal Kombat Night.

SPEAKER_01 4:11

Mortal Kombat Night, tell me.

SPEAKER_03 4:13

Well, I had been a local model for a while at that point, and I had only been in very performative sex positions, if you will. So the first time that we hooked up, it was naturally very loud, and his roommates recorded it, and they did a Mortal Kombat finish sound over that they played the next day, and so it wasn't like mortifying or anything, you know, but not mortifying at all.

SPEAKER_01 4:38

Not mortifying at all. Okay, so I have to ask you guys before we get too deep dived into it, like when your previous relationships, I know day to like you're a whore, let's just call it what it was. 100%. But had you guys both been in like the white picket fence relationships, which were more traditional, just monogamy, like you guys go on the dates, you guys go on like you know, like very traditional, or have you guys always been in flexible like relationships?

SPEAKER_03 5:06

I've all like I've never I've only ever been on like one traditional date without ever actually being like in a relationship where a guy like I met up with them, they bought me coffee, like only ever once. And other than that, relationships have always been like awkward. It's just one of those like my high school relationship, obviously, you spend all the time together. But like even after that, it was met a dude at a party, we hooked up that night, and then you know, obsessiveness took over, and then next thing you know, three years later, it's like, oh, that's really abusive toxic relationship. So I wouldn't say if I really had the white picket traditional, but I've never I mean I've definitely been in relationships where there's been like threesons and stuff like that, but not in a place where it was like actually like a trust involved, if that makes sense. Okay. So yeah, no, no traditional picket white fence relationships for me. They've always been pretty toxic out outside of like this one.

SPEAKER_01 6:02

So I I'm assuming, and I I know that you guys will correct me if I'm wrong, but assuming that your other relationships, did it always feel like you guys were like kind of walking on glass with your like significant other, whomever you were like with, or was it a dance versus like you guys now where you guys just kind of feel comfortable in each other's presence, whether you guys are doing something or not?

SPEAKER_03 6:24

Oh, always. It was always walking on eggshells and glass, especially with my ex that had the kid. It was just like if I didn't play babysitter, if I didn't play mom, like it would just instantly their relationship would turn sour. Like it's funny to look back at those things that you don't realize at the time.

SPEAKER_08 6:40

Right. I think a lot of mine were definitely more dance. Uh some of mine were aiming towards white picket fences because a lot of my past relationships were unfortunately some with with kids as well. So they were definitely more, you know, they wanted to settle down and you know, get that white picket fence, and you know, I'm a viable candidate because I'm kind of pretty. I don't know if you know this, but you know, I'm kind of pretty.

SPEAKER_01 7:04

We will post pictures. You guys don't know yet, but we're gonna have like a little photo shoot later on in the desert. At what point during your guys' relationship did it become like, oh, I'm really comfortable?

SPEAKER_03 7:17

Honestly, I think it's when we actually entered the relationship. We had such a weird beginning, I guess, yeah, mating dance, you could say beforehand. It's a great way to put it.

SPEAKER_08 7:29

We had a mating dance for a year.

SPEAKER_03 7:31

A solid year. A solid year, easy. Yeah. We met that night at the Buffalo Wild Wings, and then we had our hookup like a couple weeks to a month after that. We hooked up for I'd say like a little while, like maybe a month or so before we were like, oh no, the feels alert, and we both were like, ah, and then ran in different directions.

SPEAKER_08 7:50

Right.

SPEAKER_03 7:50

Someone literally was like, I have no feelings, you should go date this other person. And so I went and dated another person. And I told that other person pretty much from the get-go that if they weren't okay with me having a friendship with Brian, that it would never last. And unfortunately, it shouldn't have never worked. Yeah, no, that just didn't work. I would always I couldn't have those two near each other because anytime they did, I would just put my boyfriend down and talk about Brian and how amazing Brian was.

SPEAKER_08 8:20

It was yeah, that so that relationship was awkward, and and she and she jumped over a huge span of stuff. So that time for what where where we met, right? So we met at Trist Cafe. Trist Cafe.

SPEAKER_01 8:35

What is this sounds very elegant? What is Trist Cafe?

SPEAKER_08 8:38

Trist Cafe is over in Desert Ridge. It's across from Desert Ridge in that little uh like close to the bank.

SPEAKER_01 8:45

Oh, the one where that big Starbucks line is? Is it over there where the um sushi sushi thing is?

SPEAKER_08 8:51

It might be over in that direction, right? So it's over there, and it was just a random place, and a trist is a meeting of lovers. So we went there and I did.

SPEAKER_01 9:00

Is that what the definition is?

SPEAKER_08 9:01

Trist, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:02

I've never heard this word before. I thought it was like literally a made-up word. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 9:04

I didn't know it the first time he said it either, like when we met there, and then later he had told me about that. I was like, wait, what? What my mind is blown.

SPEAKER_07 9:12

Um, fact check.

SPEAKER_08 9:14

Um but I'm pretty sure uh Trist T-R-Y-S-T is a meeting for a meeting of lovers. Uh so we we met at Trist, and I did. I you know, she was we both caught the feels, and I and I knew that I had the feels at that time, but I wasn't I wasn't committed, I wasn't committal, I wasn't ready.

SPEAKER_01 9:35

So I wasn't I wanted to jump back real fast when you guys were saying that you guys had kind of the feels conversation where you guys were Sasha was saying that she had the feels. I know I know that from my perspective, like if I share my body with anybody, I'm gonna catch the feels very, very quickly. I think with males, they're not so much attached attachable, they're not like velcro.

SPEAKER_08 9:56

I am detachable to my penis and then my emotions go with it.

SPEAKER_01 9:59

Yeah. Truth. So when she was having that conversation of the feels, were you kind of feeling that or were you okay with it?

SPEAKER_08 10:07

I think I don't I think I was more in the in I was detached. I think I was. I think I was detached from the emotion and it was it was pure pleasure at that point, and I wasn't ready for for anything extra. I I I think I just yeah. We were in it from the beginning for you know a booty call and you know, it was the long-term booty call is what it turned out.

SPEAKER_03 10:35

Like if we started to get the feels like we had to let each other know right away because that would immediately end things.

SPEAKER_08 10:41

Like whole thing was supposed to just be like friends with benefits and you know and it it it did, it grew and it it it became what it is today because I think without that without that conversation, without that meeting, without that kind of break that we had from each other, she dated Tyler and I dated uh Nicole.

SPEAKER_03 11:03

Oh god, I forgot her name for a minute.

SPEAKER_08 11:05

I was gonna feel real bad. But you know, we did. We it was it was exactly what I think both of us needed because it uh it made me realize how much I really did love her and like having her having her presence around was like it was it was a lot.

SPEAKER_03 11:21

It was really nice too though because it was like the first time I was able even though the feelings were there, we both like found a way to bury him and we just started to build like that foundation of friendship, and it was really nice because if I was having a great day, I would just message him. If I was having a shitty day, I would message him. If I was having a panic and anxiety attack at work, the only person that wasn't gonna understand and help me through that was Brian at the time, like and to this day still, but like I would just message him and it it sucked because you know it hurt because that feeling was there. Like our mutual friends would joke, like when you'd go rock climbing, they'd be like, climb that wall, like it was Brian, like just pretend it's Brian, even though I was with other, you know, with Tyler at the time. So it was like it was really nice to be able to build that friendship and that foundation outside of the relationship and have that from like a different angle. Because in the past it's always been meet somebody, fall head over heels, become obsessed and codependent, and instantly, you know, never leave each other's side. So it was like a really like life, like life-changing, I guess, world-changing, like everything changing, like just having to experience it in a different way. But it was it was like one of those, you know, it wasn't gonna be like Ross and Rachel and friends where the entire time pie, you know, I found a way to put those feelings aside and make sure that I could have that friendship, regardless of the fact if everybody around us knew that I was madly in love with us. Everyone knew, but we were able still to build that friendship and pretend like we were okay with seeing other people.

SPEAKER_06 12:51

And not madly in love, and and honestly, like how how mean she was sometimes to her boyfriend in front of me was it was it was mean sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 13:00

Yeah, it was you know I think honestly though, like when we're with or around people that like we have a high attraction to, it just kind of naturally comes, you know what I mean? And it's almost like uh it's almost like a warning shot to to Tyler to be like, listen, if he says the word, you're gone. Okay. That was that was truth.

SPEAKER_03 13:22

Unfortunately, yeah, that was the truth. And and I always felt bad. And I even messaged Tyler like years after we broke up, and I was like, I'm really sorry for how certain things went down. That was really shitty of me. Sorry, wasn't more forthcoming, like you didn't deserve that. And like like he's the only ex I think I've ever still stayed in touch with because he was just like part of that transition period. He was just the placeholder waiting for Brian to come around, you know. So the getting over him guy, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 13:49

The getting over him guy, but never fully getting over him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, still actually.

SPEAKER_06 13:54

I still love you.

SPEAKER_01 14:00

So I'm glad that you actually brought up that point, Sasha, because um I was going to ask in like previous relationships that either one of you had had, like, it was more built on the platform of lust than it was being built on this can be this can be something I invest my time in. Like there is no rush behind this.

SPEAKER_08 14:18

Yeah, agreed. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:21

So at what point were you guys did you guys kind of form the idea that you wanted to get married at the same time, or were there hints, or like who pr who proposed that idea first?

SPEAKER_03 14:33

I that's a hard question. I mean, I think it was one of those just after a couple years, we both just kind of jokingly like mentioned it for the future, but it was also one of those, like Brian used to always say, like, I'm never gonna get married, I'm never gonna get married, I'm never gonna get married. I remember like even farther into our relationship, I'm never gonna get married. And then one day I don't remember, I don't know. We were probably watching, you know, what we love to call trash TV and all the lovely, you know, relationship stuff, but I don't I don't know.

SPEAKER_08 15:04

Yeah, I don't remember when when it came about and when we when we had the conversation of let's get married. I I always wanted to do it like the big way? No, well it's not my style to do things that way. So my idea was always to do it very secretively and throw it up to everybody and be like Well, I don't like to do anything big.

SPEAKER_03 15:33

I just want to throw a complete surprise wedding. Not tell anyone we've been engaged forever, invite him over for a dinner, and then we're gonna just be like, surprise, it's actually a wedding right now. But he doesn't like anything big. Right, right, right, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:46

Nothing over the gun. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_08 15:48

It didn't sound very big. The the the the dinner with just, you know, some of our close friends and you know, some family if we could get him there. You know, it wasn't it wasn't big, but it was meant to be a surprise, and that was the whole that was the whole premise.

SPEAKER_03 16:03

Um for them or for her? For them for them, for them. He proposed on my birthday, and it was one of those he was like, We're not gonna tell him, we're just gonna be we're just gonna surprise them. But like he had proposed on my birthday, and I don't even know where it come from.

SPEAKER_08 16:19

Like, it's one of those It was in my mind for a while.

SPEAKER_03 16:23

Yeah, I still have no idea where like originally we first were like, Oh yeah, this is a possibility.

SPEAKER_08 16:27

Yeah, I think I think for me it I think it was like in my brain for I'd say at least for a little bit, and I was going to do it on your birthday.

SPEAKER_03 16:36

It was after I met your mama, I think. I think it was after they came to town to visit and we went hiking and to Sedona and stuff. I feel like it was after that. That might have been something. That might have been. I feel like you said your mom never likes anyone, but I Giga figure wasn't feeling good, but then I still went hiking and then almost passed out, and his mom was like, Oh my god, you sweet thing, you're still pushing yourself just to be a good impression. And then she's left me ever since.

SPEAKER_08 17:01

So Yeah, actually. It might have been it, it might have been the turning point. It was once my mom's blessing. Yeah, yeah, because my mom hates everyone. Everyone's gonna be. But yeah, she loves her.

SPEAKER_03 17:14

I'm the favorite child now.

SPEAKER_08 17:16

She might have liked she she do you remember when I was in my accident? She liked Bonnie because Bonnie was in the accident when you know she was taking care of me. So that was that was one other one, but no other one has she talked to or even reached out to separately. Like she kept the messages uh separately, so it's she definitely loves her.

SPEAKER_01 17:38

Is your guys' relationship your longest relationship? Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_07 17:43

Yeah, by far.

SPEAKER_01 17:43

Well, I mean, aside from the marriage, like before you guys got married, obviously.

SPEAKER_08 17:47

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because we got married in 2020. Oh, yeah, you guys got married during the we got right we got married right before everything went crazy. Like literally before everything went to shit. Yeah. We got married, we were in Vegas, so we went for your birthday. We went for my birthday and got married. With the intention of fuck it, let's get married.

SPEAKER_01 18:11

What um what was that like being newlyweds during COVID?

SPEAKER_03 18:17

I don't really feel like anything changed. We're such recluses and shut ins anyways, that I think the only thing it affected was the fact that we were going to throw a big reception and like another big like fake wedding so all our friends and family could actually be there. Yeah. Because, you know, they were all really mad. They were all really mad that we got married without telling them or without inviting them. So we were like, oh, awesome, we're gonna have this huge reception, we're gonna do like another fake wedding, it's gonna be great. And then it was like, just kidding.

SPEAKER_08 18:45

And now we're in 2022, 2023.

SPEAKER_01 18:51

Here's it. We're almost three months into 2023.

SPEAKER_08 18:55

Yeah, we're yeah, it uh they were real, real mad. I think it took them a little bit to get over that one because we just literally ran away and loped.

SPEAKER_01 19:04

Yeah, Bub's family was not happy. They found out a year later. So I totally understand. Feels yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_08 19:12

Living together, but also separately. When we moved in.

SPEAKER_01 19:17

You're talking like you guys had your own places, but you guys would just stay the night at each other's places?

SPEAKER_03 19:22

No, so I mean, no. So when we when I broke up with Tyler, um it happened to be the time when Brian and his ex-roommate Ari, their other roommate, things went to shit with her and she was she was moving out. And so they uh I the whole plan was like if she ever moved out, I was gonna move in. So I moved in to replace Elise was the other roommate's name. When she moved out, I moved in. So I had my own entire bedroom, and Brian had his own entire bedroom. So, in a sense, we did go stay the night at each other's places, but it was literally just a different room in the same house. But it was huge because we weren't forced to share the same space 24-7. I was able to have my room and nap and sleep with you know, cuddle with the dogs, and Brian could still have his room and sleep and cuddle with the cats. And but if we wanted to, which was nine out of ten nights, I would go and force him to snuggle with me. So, you know.

SPEAKER_08 20:16

Nine out of ten for sure, easy. But yeah, it was it was really good in the beginning because then it was just, you know, she slept in her room, I slept in my room, we you know, shared our times together, and we slept in both rooms, actually.

SPEAKER_02 20:30

Yeah, we went back and forth.

SPEAKER_08 20:32

Yeah, we went back and forth. So it was nice to have that, you know. I'm I'm I'm in a relationship, but it still felt to me, it was almost like a a trial into, you know, because I haven't slept comfortably. You know, it's hard to sleep comfortably with somebody and yeah, and and feel okay to to to actually fall asleep and not try to keep that like like one eye open. Right, right, to keep that presence and and I think it took me a while to be comfortable to actually sleep, sleep next to her. Actually, yeah, we're very, very homish bodies and we I mean we are very codependent on that.

SPEAKER_01 21:12

Has it always been like that for you guys? Have you guys always been introverts or like home bodies?

SPEAKER_03 21:17

I've always been um I've always like been the type that I have like my friends that are extra extroverts that drag me out, and even then it's like nope, I'm done. I'm going home now. My energy is spent. Exactly. Like I work and that's all my energy that takes up my social meter for the entire year in a single day. So you can imagine the negative pain coming.

SPEAKER_08 21:37

Yeah. I think I'm a I think I'm an introverted extrovert. I'm I'm required to be extroverted in a lot of situations that I'm not always comfortable in being, but I feel like it's my time to do it because every I sometimes I just feel like all eyes are on me sometimes, and that's the day day movie.

SPEAKER_01 21:56

He's not wrong though, like you are a vibe when you go anywhere. I'm not gonna lie.

SPEAKER_03 22:01

People are drawn to you. And you always wonder why everyone wants to talk to you and share their secrets.

SPEAKER_08 22:05

I mean, I the amount of stupid the amount of people that like come up to me and just have full-on conversations. And I've never met anyone. It's just like I'm just gonna have a full conversation. Let's just talk to you about my life. Yeah. Buddy, I just met you. I'm getting gassed.

SPEAKER_03 22:21

Like did you know you're an energy worker, my love? The universe has dubbed thee an energy worker, and you you'll find your path and how to how to use that. But yeah, use the vibe. Yeah. Use a whole vibe, baby.

SPEAKER_08 22:36

That's fair. I'll take that.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

So, okay, that was my question. As you guys are progressed through your marriage now, has it been a streamlined amount of love and adoration for each other, or has there been points in your marriage where you felt more saturated love?

SPEAKER_08 22:52

I mean, I feel it's I want to say mostly all streamlined with with dumps of saturation when needed.

SPEAKER_03 23:01

That's the best way to do it.

SPEAKER_08 23:02

Um and more so, you know, because it's just there's always a rough day. Yeah. And sometimes you just need that oversaturation of of loviness and and snuggles and and cuddles. And and Sash goes through that fair I don't want to say fairly rare. But it it's fairly rare that you go through those anymore. So not as much, but I say streamline with, you know, dumps of heavy saturation and over the top. I don't think there's ever I don't think I've ever felt unloved in her presence.

SPEAKER_01 23:37

Has there been like a a life event that has I mean, I know that with like Sasha's hip, like with that. Sasha, do you c would you mind like kind of high-level explaining what happened?

SPEAKER_03 23:48

Yeah, so I I was heavily into roller skating. I had finally found like my thing to do. Um and I was a heavy trail skater, and when I went skating one day, I got a rock caught up in my skates and took a stupid fall and broke my hip out on a trail. So I yeah, it was fun. Was anybody around when that happened? No, I was completely alone. Um, I was alone pretty much the entire point while I was waiting for my sister. It was probably only like the last five minutes. I wasn't alone. There was um a random person that had started hiking and they were walking through the trail, and like I had all of my stuff just strewn about the trail because you know I had fallen, all my stuff went flying. I had like managed to get my skates off and crawl slash drag myself over to where there was like a railing so I could stand up. Not fun. Um, and like this dude just came upon this messy trail and this girl just bawling her eyes out. He's like, Are you okay? And I'm like, I think I broke my hip. Oh my god. He's like, Can I get you anything? Like, can you just hand me some of my stuff? And so this random stranger like starts grabbing me my random stuff all over the place. And then like my sister's trying to find us, and he saw her pull in. Um he like sprinted to where my sister was so he could like get her and like direct her to where I was. So it was like really fucking sweet, but it sucked because I was just like in the middle of it was next to like the Phoenix Zoo. Yeah, it's the Phoenix Zoo and Botanical Garden. It was one of like the back, back, back, back parking lots that led to like extra trails like out. So I was in a pretty secluded spot and it was it was it was pretty shitty. Like even having the phone and being able to call and talk to Ryan, it I mean, it was hard to talk in general, so it was kind of pointless. Was that a moment of like fear?

SPEAKER_08 25:43

Pure terror. Yeah. Pure terror to to get the phone call that I got when I got it, and to hear her scream. Yeah, it was it was pure terror. It and and to be uh unable to do anything because I was at work, I I needed to leave quick, the uh I got a flat tire on the car, so I couldn't I couldn't even get I couldn't get to her at all. I had to call her sister Toddy to go get her. Toddy took her to the hospital. I didn't see her but to help her into the hospital because it was still during COVID, so you couldn't stay, you couldn't see anyone. Like awful.

SPEAKER_03 26:20

It was it that was that was like the most alone I've ever felt, and it sucked because all we wanted was for Brian to be there and he wasn't allowed to come in. Yeah, it was like three days, I think. Like the admission date, surgery date. It might have even been four days because I get so sick after surgery that they always have to keep me extra.

SPEAKER_08 26:39

Yeah, I was thinking four. Yeah, that was pure terror. That was scary. Yeah. That was really scary.

SPEAKER_01 26:44

Yeah. It was it was pretty awful. That was bad. And that's been like a huge recovery process too. Has there been like a lot of physical therapy with it?

SPEAKER_03 26:51

Yes and no. Um, so I had my first surgery, and the way it was called the hip pin. They didn't want to do a hip replacement because I was so young and they were hoping that they could just like compress the fracture and it would like heal and everything would be fine. But unfortunately, I was one of the rare cases where the blood flow didn't return to the head of the femur. So I ended up getting like necrosis of the hip and I had to have a total hip replacement. So it was like I had surgery, kind of started to do better, then got really, really worse. Um pretty much was on cane full time. Like I just couldn't walk, I couldn't work, I couldn't really do anything. So when I finally had surgery again, it was awesome. Definitely had physical therapy, but then we trans transitioned with work and stuff. You know, there was insurance problems, and so it's it's been a lot of work at home and just trying to live life and hopefully have that work, but I'd say it's been going pretty well.

SPEAKER_08 27:47

It's been quite quite the journey, quite the hip journey. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_03 27:51

Definitely put a I wouldn't say a strain on anything, but it really puts the ex put the extra pressure on Brian. He had to step up and do a lot and take care of everything. Everything literally everything. When your partner can't get out of bed without your help to even go to the bathroom, it's it sucks. You know, he had to clean, he had to cook, he had to work, he had he had to take care of the animals, he had to put my shoes on. I literally cried one day because we couldn't get one of my shoes on because my foot was so swollen. Like I couldn't bathe myself. He would help me into the shower and I would just cry because he would have to like scrap me down, and I'm like, I can't even take a bath alone. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:29

So it's like he he didn't have a moment to himself. Yeah. To be like independent and then lose complete independence of everything.

SPEAKER_08 28:36

I mean and and and to not, you know, not to be able to you would think, just you know, touch the you know, touch your toe or to reach and put your to reach and put your own sock on. You really don't think about that and how easy that is until you can't do it for yourself. And that's yeah. Yeah. That was a that was definitely a struggle, but you know, it's learning too, you know. She'll never go trail skating alone.

SPEAKER_01 29:03

I was gonna say so. There's rules now that she can't go alone. There's rules.

SPEAKER_08 29:09

There's rules, and I've not I w I'm the most cautious of her skating, but I would never want to take her passion away from it. Right. But I'm nervous as shit for her to skate. Absolutely. I'm so nervous, and I'm nervous for her because I know how nervous it is. Because when I was in my accident, it's nervous to get back on a motorcycle, so I can only imagine lacing the skates back up and you know, trying to get that movement around.

SPEAKER_01 29:36

So yeah.

SPEAKER_08 29:37

I'm I'm nervous.

SPEAKER_01 29:38

I'm nervous for you've only been in one bad accident, right? Or has there been multiples?

SPEAKER_08 29:45

I've been in some bad accidents, but one bad motorcycle accident.

SPEAKER_01 29:49

But you guys weren't together at the time for that.

SPEAKER_03 29:51

It was right before we met. It was uh three months before we met. Yeah, three months, actually, before two months, because it was end of it was November, it was right near Thanksgiving that you had your accident, right? Yeah, and that January 12th.

SPEAKER_05 30:03

That explains the the Bonnie situation too. So I dumped her for you. Wow. That just came back to my brain.

SPEAKER_01 30:19

But you know, at the end of the day, like I can't say that I haven't seen one of you guys post about each other and not felt like pure joy. Like, it literally feels like gold light when you guys post about each other to me.

SPEAKER_08 30:33

For sure. Yeah, absolutely. It is, it is like it's the loviness, and it's sometimes we we I go over the top on purpose with the loviness, just just for the fact that I know it bothers some people, so I like to do it intentionally.

SPEAKER_03 30:50

But you also know it makes me smile ridiculously, and you do it just to make me smile.

SPEAKER_08 30:55

I do a lot of random things just to see if I can get her to smile. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, that's my favorite.

SPEAKER_01 31:01

Because you've seen you've seen pain, so you really don't want it, you want to get as far away from that as possible.

SPEAKER_08 31:06

I mean pain. I've seen pain, but then there's the emotional pain. Yeah. You know, I've seen the physical pain, but the emotional pain where you have to get in the shower with somebody because they're having a breakdown and you're, you know, you just got back from work and you're like, nope, she's crying in the shower. I'm getting in the shower with her.

SPEAKER_03 31:22

Yeah, fully clothed by you. He climbed in. Fully clothed just to hook me in the shower because Is there anything that I we should cover about your relationship that we missed?

SPEAKER_01 31:33

Anything you want to dedicate to each other?

SPEAKER_06 31:38

I dedicate my heart and soul to all of you, Sasha.

SPEAKER_03 31:43

That was too cheesy, I guess. Yeah, it's way too cheesy. Sorry. Yeah, that was way too cheesy. No, you can tell when they don't mean it, and it just feels uncomfortable, and your whole body just squirms. You're like, mm-hmm, that wasn't it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:54

That one felt honestly, because I think for for my love language, and I think it's similar to you guys, you guys get more out of love language with satire and sarcasm than you guys do actual like dedication. Yep.

SPEAKER_07 32:06

Thousand.

SPEAKER_01 32:06

Like a thousand. You guys can look at each other's eyeballs and be like, I love you so much. You know, just shut the fuck up. You know, that's exactly it.

SPEAKER_08 32:12

100%. That's how, yeah, satire and and sarcasm, and I mean that's that's our bread and butter. Yeah. For sure.

SPEAKER_01 32:20

Yeah. So do you guys do like a Bonnie and Clyde type situation? And what I mean by that is like you guys go out of your way to make other people uncomfortable in your guys' presence, or you guys, what's like your guys' traditions with each other currently?

SPEAKER_08 32:35

I mean, I don't I don't think we intentionally go out of our ways to make people uncomfortable, but I think our thing is is we always feel like everyone's watching us. Like we're the cool couple.

SPEAKER_03 32:51

We're the degenerates, you never know. Right, judging us.

SPEAKER_08 32:54

I mean, uh honestly, because wherever we walk, it just whether it be the what we're wearing or our hair or something, but it just feels like people just stare as we like enter a room or why and it's I guess it's just our lovely glow. I mean, something, you know. So I I don't know how to really explain. I don't think we go out of our way to make anyone feel uncomfortable because we want to make-just.

SPEAKER_03 33:17

I think people just realize that they can't love as much as we love. Maybe that's why they're I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 33:22

I just feel like everyone stares at us all the time.

SPEAKER_01 33:25

So I have to actually like tell you guys that's because you guys are here. But I was telling Bob and I were having conversations a while ago with like having the um not intimidation, but like a jealousy factor. And um Bob's like, if I should be jealous or quote unquote intimidated by anybody because of a relationship with me and like another person, he was like, I would totally say it's Brian. He was like, but he was like, the thing is, is Brian, he's like, he literally tells you to your face what you're thinking. Like, like there it's not, it's not a competition or anything. There's no like there's no like uh caveman beat on your chest, I'm gonna take your woman type situation. He was just like, he's like, I'm not intimidated by Brian at all in that sense. He's like, I totally and completely feel comfortable with you guys. And it's so funny before you guys came over here last night.

SPEAKER_00 34:16

He was like, listen, no freaky shit. Okay, no freaky shit.

SPEAKER_01 34:20

I was like, babe, I am super fertile right now. I cannot have freaky shit with anybody but you. I appreciate you guys coming to interview with me as my first interview. This was a good break the ice for me because I was like, I don't know what it's gonna look like. And before you guys got here, I was like, I don't know what we're gonna talk about. So I think it was good. I think it was a nice deep dive into you guys' relationship.

SPEAKER_08 34:40

Yeah, I think it worked out well, and Sasha opened up very quickly. Did you notice how quick?

SPEAKER_01 34:45

I was literally back here smiling when I thought I heard her gonna be like, well.

SPEAKER_08 34:50

Did you did you see me do the wink? You just gotta get her going and then she's golden.

SPEAKER_03 34:57

We can't see people looking at me because if we see people looking, we're like, no, don't look at me.

SPEAKER_01 35:01

We'll just um do the Wilson thing, like home improvement, and just put the bush in front of her face. We'll just put I'll I'll just wear a blindfold too. Maybe that's there you we could do the um, isn't that like a album cover or something? Like a robber thing, you know, like a sock with eyes cut out. Boom. There you go. There you go.

SPEAKER_04 35:18

Watch mouth.

SPEAKER_01 35:23

Thank you guys.